I’ve been going through a never-ending rollercoaster of emotions lately. It has made me appreciate life and at the same time curse it for its pitfalls and heartaches. Even when I know I am doing something for the best reasons, I feel deep down I have somehow failed. This guilt tripping is what causes me to start and stop on my road to recovering my old self. I look in the mirror and I don’t see the glass is half full guy. Instead, I see the guy who hasn’t been to the gym regularly in months, who pushes away the people who love him and embraces those who don’t give two shits about him. I see a guy who looks haggard and just tired of everything in life. Even with all that, I still see a guy with heart. A person who believes even as more and more obstacles come his way. I can see the fire in his eyes, slightly clouded by the maelstrom of what is currently besieging him, but still trying to burn bright. I’ve never considered myself a religious man, but I have to keep the faith that what I do is for the best and begin to return to the land where I am known and loved.