So last night I ended up leaving work late and visited my Mom before heading home. On my way home I stopped by a deli to grab a drink. On line in front of me was a gentleman who smelled unwashed. He wasn’t homeless, from appearances, but just gave off a very funky odor. I kept my distance for fear the smell molecules would stick to me. When he made his purchase and left, I bought my bottle of water, chocolate and gum, paid with a $10 bill, got change and left for home.
This morning when I was getting ready, I walked by my dresser and smelled something funky. I couldn’t figure what it was but knew it wasn’t me cause I just showered. I sniffed around only to find my wallet stunk. That unwashed smell! Turns out the change I received from my purchase had been the same singles the not so fresh smelling guy had given the cashier. So, I had infected my wallet with funky bills. I tried to air the bills and my wallet out but the smell stuck to it. I knew I had to get rid of the bills so I decided to split them between two places. Only fair not to funky one person. Taking the bills and wrapping it in a tissue, I carefully put it in the pocket of my blazer. I sprayed the pocket with some Burberry cologne as well as sprayed my wallet. Washing my hands with soup, I left home and went to a local coffee cart and picked up an iced coffee. This enabled me to get rid of some of the offending bills. I then stopped at a deli and picked up breakfast. I was able to get rid of the remaining bills there. Do I feel bad? Not really. Those bills will be someone other person’s funky problem. I can breathe freely.