Nine Year Plan

Friday was my 9th anniversary at my current job. It came and went quietly. In fact, it only dawned on me that it was fast approaching a day and a half before it happened. There was no fan fare, no moments of zen, no nothing. It was another busy day at the office. I came in that day knowing a lot of work lay ahead as I was covering for a colleague. The M&A group in our company was working hard as usual and as usual short on patience. I was busy the moment I sat down until the moment I left the office. During that time, I found other colleagues on my team slowly left early or didn’t even show up at all. Once again, I was the only person standing in my group. As I worked through the day, I wondered what it was in me that drives me to work hard when others hardly work? I do take pride in my performance and work but how come others do not appear to have the same drive? While we are not working to save humanity or the world, we are still performing services that reflect upon our organization. Still, I feel guilty when I find myself free but I find colleagues in my group appear relieved when it is quiet. While my reward for all my hard work is more, complicated matters, and the reward for disinterest appears to be less work, I do not complain but question in my head how come I work as hard as I do when, at the end of the day, it is the appearance that the group as a whole is working hard? This was supposed to be a five year plan but the downturn in the economy turned it into a ten year plan. With one more year before my self-imposed assessment, I wonder to myself, do I want to continue doing this and supporting a team that doesn’t pull its own weight for the rest of my career? Food for thought.

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