I’m sitting in a Starbucks on Astor Place listening to an amateur rocker singing a Cranberries cover and thinking of a girl named Heidi. Yes, still looking for love in all places. Every time it follows a similar script: Raj meets girl. Raj likes girl. Girl likes Raj. Raj and girl like each other more and more. Love starts to be said. Raj begins to see future with girl. Some outside force flips things around. Relationship end. Rinse. Repeat. So I’m thinking why should this be any different?
But it is.
I can’t say why this is different but the vibe I’m feeling is unlike any one I have had before. I’ve tried to connect with my inner Spock and rationalize it: She knows what she wants in life. She is age appropriate (5 years 11 months younger than me). She loves and wants to stay in NYC.
Maybe maturity has finally hit me at 40? I always felt I knew what I wanted but 40 has changed me. I haven’t ever been this comfortable in my skin as I am now. I still workout and try to eat healthier but I’m very much ” what you see is what you get”. I’m no longer trying to be someone I’m not. I’m being me.
I think that’s why I feel different with Heidi. She likes me. Not a better version of me. Not a malleable me. Me as I am. She has seen me at my sweaty worst and my shining best.
Let’s see where this goes. It could be the same old song or it could be a whole new world.