One of my pet peeves is when people call me via email by my last name first. I’m not talking amongst friends who do that with humor and/or love. I mean people at work who see my name and call me by my last name.
Now the way our emails are structured is that our last name appears first in the address line. I also know that my name itself isn’t common. I’m no John Doe. Still, it is common knowledge that’s how are email addresses work.
Even with that, I have had numerous people just address me by my last name. It’s “N”, look at this. “N” I need this ASAP, “N”, you need to be available at this time. It wouldn’t irk me so much if others on the email were addressed the same. Oh no, they are John, Tony, Bob, Kathy, Susan, Mark, etc. The list goes on.
In the past I let it go unnoticed thinking people were rushing messages. Only when I started to get “Hi Laura and “N” that I started to get pissed off. I would casually remind people that was my last name and if they would use my first. Some apologized immediately but there were others who tried to justify it. “Oh I know someone by the name of “N”. No asshole, you don’t. It is only a last name and that’s a fact.
Now I reach out to the person and tell them if they can’t type my first name, please call me “Mr. N” instead. I remind them how are work emails are structured. I basically make them feel like an idiot.
Is it petty? Perhaps but it is also unfair if someone has a name that isn’t commonplace. Take the few microseconds to type it right. I take care to ensure I get a person’s name right and so should others. After all, without a name, we wouldn’t have an identity.
Recently, a very good friend told me an acquaintance of mine said I was very cute but I need to wear more suits. When she asked why, the acquaintance said I would look even better and land a girlfriend. When my friend told her I was dating someone, she said well he should wear more suits.
I took a few things away from the conversation. While there was a compliment about my looks, I would be more desirable if I upgraded my wardrobe. Whatever happened to take me as I am? I dress comfortably. Business casual during work weeks, with a blazer or sports jacket to round things off. The suits come for important events. We live in a society where image is everything. We judge people based on appearance. No matter how good our intentions are, it is sometimes deeply embedded in our subconscious to create a value on a person purely on looks alone. I’m guilty of it too. Person walking down the street in shabby will get a nervous glance or a long look. We don’t know the person but can quickly come up with characteristics. It’s human nature that causes us to react in such a way.
Sadly some have that nature worse than others. Best I can think of on how we stop such behavior is to be aware of our thoughts and quietly admonish ourselves for thinking that way. While it is true more people would approach an attorney in a suit no matter he is a moron versus the one who looks like a hobo but is as brilliant as Justice Marshall, all we can do is remind a person that putting lipstick on a pig still keeps it a pig.
I always believed my friends in the LGBT community were my equals in all ways. So glad the Constitution sees it that way as well. Justice Kennedy’s eloquence will be taught proudly to future generations of attorneys and those in the legal community.
Apparently I am attractive in humidity than normal temperatures. How else can I explain being flirted with when sweat drips drown my sideburns and my hair rises up into a Mike Brady fro whereas in cooler or mild temperatures I get nary a look? A puzzlement!