The Clothes Do Not Make The Person

Recently, a very good friend told me an acquaintance of mine said I was very cute but I need to wear more suits.  When she asked why, the acquaintance said I would look even better and land a girlfriend. When my friend told her I was dating someone, she said well he should wear more suits.  

I took a few things away from the conversation. While there was a compliment about my looks, I would be more desirable if I upgraded my wardrobe. Whatever happened to take me as I am? I dress comfortably. Business casual during work weeks, with a blazer or sports jacket to round things off.  The suits come for important events. We live in a society where image is everything. We judge people based on appearance.  No matter how good our intentions are, it is sometimes deeply embedded in our subconscious to create a value on a person purely on looks alone. I’m guilty of it too. Person walking down the street in shabby will get a nervous glance or a long look. We don’t know the person but can quickly come up with characteristics. It’s human nature that causes us to react in such a way.  

Sadly some have that nature worse than others. Best I can think of on how we stop such behavior is to be aware of our thoughts and quietly admonish ourselves for thinking that way. While it is true more people would approach an attorney in a suit no matter he is a moron versus the one who looks like a hobo but is as brilliant as Justice Marshall, all we can do is remind a person that putting lipstick on a pig still keeps it a pig. 

Musings from Manhattan

Apparently I am attractive in humidity than normal temperatures. How else can I explain being flirted with when sweat drips drown my sideburns and my hair rises up into a Mike Brady fro whereas in cooler or mild temperatures I get nary a look?  A puzzlement!

Lost New York

So I came across one if my favorite local haunts and found it had closed after nearly 30 years of existence. Cut down by the all too familiar aggressor: potential sky risers. As I silently mourned the loss of yet another place I called home, I started to think that the New York City I have grown up in and loved is becoming a memory. Sure NYC as with every city needs to evolve, but with each evolution it loses a piece of what made it unique amongst cosmopolitan cities. Farewell Hudson Place, gone too soon has become NYC’s broken record.

Reading Is Food For The Mind

I’ve taken up the habit of reading the weekend New York Times at coffee shops, parks or cafes. The subscription I have is mainly to access the digital edition but I feel a sense of commitment is necessary when the paper arrives at my door on weekends. After all I am fulfilling the papers purpose of being read and the death of trees was not in vain. I’m informed about the world, social, economic, arts and entertainment. So I’ve decided each weekend requires time to read the paper.

I mainly read outside because home is distracting. Too many things can sideline me. Mostly television shows, sports or movies. I used to be one of those who let the paper pile up. Now not so much. I glad read the paper from cover to cover.

I do wonder if this is creating an OCD? Well, if so, it can’t be bad, right?

Hello Goodbye/Ch-ch-changes

Moving to a new office brings to mind the lyrics to two classic songs:

“I don’t know why you say “Goodbye”, I say “Hello, hello, hello”.
I don’t know why you say goodbye, I say hello.”

“Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the stranger)
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out you rock ‘n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the stranger)
Ch-ch-Changes
Pretty soon you’re gonna get
a little older
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can’t trace time”

New adventures await at the new place.

I’m on the Highway to Hell

At least the ride is enjoyable with a cute baby stealing the show.

A lot of “Firsts” and a lot of “Lasts”

This is my department’s last week at its current location. We have been at this location for over 17 years. I have never participated in a company moving to another location in all my working years so this is my first move. I haven’t even had the opportunity to move desks as wherever I worked, that became my office. Never having to pick up and migrate to another place. So, this move has brought about a lot of mixed feelings. I’m a creature of comfort and I didn’t mind my office location and the surrounding area. Whatever issues I had, I got over them in the first couple of years at this position. As time went by, this became just like every other workplace. You get familiar with where the bathroom is, what pantry is the clean one and better stocked and what is the best exit to the elevator bank so you don’t have to walk by the powers that be. I had it down to a science.  It is hard to walk away from all that knowledge I amassed over the years.

The biggest issue and saddening fact I have is the people whom I get along with and are considered friends in the office will not be on the floor I am moving to. In other words, our department is being split up. The group I work with, while a nice and civil bunch of professionals are just that. Civil. There is very little interaction among each other unless it is work related or serves a professional purpose (i.e. moving up in the company). People will chat and appear friendly but it is all on the surface. Try to peel back the layers of the onion and all you get is a stinky attitude. The other groups in the office, whom I do not work with, are a different bunch of people. They enjoy conversation, each other’s company and work well together in the process. In fact, I find them more efficient. Those other groups are the ones I found myself interacting with more so than my group. We could talk business and pleasure in the same sentence without being careful with our words. It was comfortable. With the splitting of our department, I fear that it will not be the same. Sure we are one as far as a legal group but not one in the physical sense. At least not after this Friday. It almost feels like with this move, that I will never see these wonderful people who made the work day decent just with their personalities.

I noticed today as I went outside for lunch that I will not frequent the delis, fast food places, stores that are close and around the office. Suddenly these places will be too far from the new location. My morning coffee or breakfast sandwich are closer to my current location than my new location. While on some days I can walk over to them and grab food and catch up, they won’t be my primary source.  Instead, I will have to find new places along the way to get my coffee. Establish new relationships with street vendors and other locations which I frequent during the course of a workday. As I picked up a tuna melt from the deli down the block, I thought this will probably be the last week I ever go to the deli unless I am in the area.

As the days get closer, I am sure there will be more lasts that I will encounter. While I will mourn them in my own way, there are a lot of firsts that come with a move to a new location. I will think of those only after we move. Until then, it is farewell to the work life I know and was so accustomed to.

Tally Ho To Tarrytown

Took a day to clear my mind and headed up to Tarrytown. Never been but always heard good things. It was a rainy/misty day and seeing the fog hanging over the Palisades as our Metro-North train sped to its destination made it so idyllic. Heading off the train, we went on foot over a huge, breath-taking(literally) hill and stumbled into the quiet sleepy town of Tarrytown. Lots of little shops dotted Main Street. We walked and soaked up the local feel. NYS has many town such as this just waiting for exploring. We walked past the border and into Sleepy Hollow but we only went a block in, saving it for the Fall. Walking back, we ate at a local watering hole, shopped, had ice cream from a neighborhood spot and walked back to the train station with a better mindset than the one we entered into Tarrytown.

I’ve Been Assassinated (Metaphorically)

Recently I found the pitfalls that are associated with being a chairman of a committee. You become the face of the group you lead, which means that you do not only get the good, but you get the bad and ugly.  I have enjoyed the positive responses that the committee has received since my ascent to chairman and the hard work that the committee and I put into making decisions that affect the lives of those within our community is greatly appreciated. I’m a firm believer that people would understand the effort and hard work that goes into running a group handling such critical issues and how the greater good is what triumphs over the issues of a select few.

Boy, was I wrong.

Two weeks after our committee meeting, I was subjected to allegations of purposely denying the community the ability to input on the proposed matter affecting their neighborhood. I had closed the door and held secret negotiations and came up with a resolution well before the matter was discussed was some of the other allegation. One person, who must have watched the movie Lincoln, stated that I used underhanded tactics that were used to push the 13th amendment. When I received these emails and then calls from the board office and local politicians on this matter, I was naturally surprised. I’m not gullible enough to think everyone in the world would like me. I learned long ago that there are many who in fact dislike my personality. Still, to have my character, morals and ethics being questioned was something I had never heard before. It brought on a hurt and angry feeling that goes when doing a thankless job. While the critics were small in number, they were vocal and vicious in their words. It was enough to make me think about why I was putting myself in the position to help a community that doesn’t appreciate or want to help all of society but only care about their needs.  That type of selfishness I can’t stand in my personal life so why would I want to deal with it in this professional, yet voluntary, role? I found myself defending myself, retelling how everything the past few weeks occurred and how I did not cross the line but in fact stayed within protocol. I had the support of the board and local politicians that my actions were unquestionable yet I felt the sting of being treated like a punching bag. When the dust settled, I still wondered why am I volunteering for this responsibility and the resulting hatred that goes with the position.

Well, it is cause I believe as a community we can be representative of what people can do together for the greater good of people who not only reside in our community but for those in all of NYC. We cannot exclude people because we do not want certain social services in our neighborhood. While we want our fair share, at the end of the day, we are here to ensure that everyone is well taken care of by the various services in place. When people ask me why should we have this type of service in our community, I ask them why not? Should we punish those who need it by sending them to the outer boroughs? We would not be good New Yorkers if we did that. We would only feed into the myth that New Yorkers only care about New Yorkers.

Groundhogs in NYC

Groundhogs in NYC

Makes me want to watch groundhogs.